The Story of Country Dick Montana

The Ballad Of Dick- by Chickenbone Slim-Copyright 2020
Gather round you lowlifes, you dirt bags and you sinners
Roll up your chronic, hoist up your forties and pray
This is the Ballad of Country Dick Montana
Gather round you snuggle bunnies listen to what I say
On the day he was born the rain fell down
and crashed on the roof in a wave
The Nurse said “Doc there must be something going down
It’s like someone walked across my grave”
Doc said ”I feel it too there’s a chill on my spine
and I’m sweating like a whore in church
Then lightning struck and the thunder roared
And the baby Dick was birthed
He grew to manhood in a week or so
His fists were two hammers of steel
He refused to suffer at the hands of fools
He may have bowed but he never once kneeled
Outlawed and broke but never once broken
his was the legend of the West
The Kid from California had come to town
Nobody would get any rest!
They covered the speakers in plastic sheets
Beer fell down like rain
Thousands roared as they witnessed the feats
When Dick wrestled Mojo on the stage
The two titans battled as the band played on
None could tell who had won
The King of Sleaze was crowned that day
We all shook hands when it was done!
His drum sticks were carved from
the masts of The Constitution
Patron Saint to anyone
who’s ever spent a lonely night in jail
He stood as tall as a redwood
with a voice as big as a mountain
He was the Baron of Pleasure
and his heart was as big as a whale
Word spread out across the western states
That Country Dick was gone
He died where he was happy on a raucous stage
singing a good old country western song
His music will heal our broken hearts
Ever his memory will last
I know he’s in heaven cause the devil’s afraid
That Country Dick would kick his ass!
Gather round you lowlifes, you dirt bags and you sinners
Roll up your chronic and hoist up your Forties and pray
Raise up a toast to Country Dick Montana
Salute his glory never forget his name!